It doesn’t change overnight, the view that you have about “that thing” that just keeps gnawing at you. It didn’t for me, and I constantly have to keep it in check. But if your attitude is wrong, it doesn’t matter how good a situation may be, you’ll ruin it.
Finale: Attitude
Last school year, I had a rough fourth period class. There were times when I really dreaded having to face them; and my fears were always worse than the reality, but it was the unknown that killed me. I never knew what was going to happen. Would they be pleasant and kind of stay on task? Would there be an explosion of personal issues that posed as obstacles to them focusing? Would I have to act out of character and raise my voice at them so they would listen? How exhausted will I be afterward? Don’t misunderstand, I loved them, but they may have decreased the time frame of grays coming in.
I tried so many different tactics with them: rewards, punishments, brain breaks, stations, small groups, stadium-style seating, seating charts separating as many friend groups as possible while avoiding putting them next to someone they couldn’t stand, engaging projects, worksheet-type work, calling parents… and these would work- some for short periods, long periods, all year, but that was the thing- there wasn’t one solution (as there never really is).
When I saw success, I felt accomplished, and then something would happen the next class time that would make me feel like a failure.
It just seemed like an inescapable cycle.
There’s a quote I’ve seen often said by someone very wise whose identity is unknown to me: “Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes. Watch your attitudes; they lead to words. Watch your words; they lead to actions. Watch your actions; they lead to habits. Watch your habits; they form your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
I had to act quick! These poisonous thoughts of losing hope would amount to nothing, and they were starting to affect my attitude. I was more moody, more snappy with my husband, more defensive…and as you can see from the quote, that is a starting point that eventually leads to your destiny.
So what do you do when you need to change your attitude?
Do what I do.
- Scripture: Consult the Word of God, the ultimate source of Truth. What does it say?
- Prayer: Ask God to adjust your heart. He is the Creator of it, and you can’t do it on your own.
- Purpose: Allow Scripture and prayer to refocus your heart and mind on why you’re alive, why you do what you do.
- Community: Get with people who will listen, encourage, and guide you in the struggle.
Then true attitude change begins. Because you’re not doing it alone; you have God and your community in your corner.
And that’s just what I did. I got with my ladies: friends, mentors- older and younger. They walked beside me. And of course, my man. He prayed with me and kept me looking up and in check.
It took intentionally striving not to dwell on the negative, let go of what happened that day when class ended, start anew the next time, not over-vent allowing me to revel in the filth of gossip.
Did my fourth period students change because I had changed? Nope. They were them- through and through. But adjusting my attitude made me more willing to continue to try new tactics, to love them well in the moment, to keep my standards high and not compromise, to make it through that hour and a half. And then let it go. Try harder next time. Love harder. Discipline better. Challenge them more.
Don’t underestimate the power of your attitude.
It may not change your circumstances, but it will change how you see it. Adopt an attitude of gratitude because at the end of the day, what kind of destiny do you want?
Is there an area of your life that needs an attitude adjustment? Have you recently adjusted your perspective and come out victorious? Comment below, and if you need to chat, check out my ‘Connect’ tab to reach out.
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